triumph: week four

welcome to the last triumph!!! so crazy. these four weeks have been so amazing to see so many people step out in faith and share their stories. thank you to all who wrote or just simply read them! this week is about something that is very prominent in our society now. anxiety and depression. continue reading to see how the Lord can flip those labels into something beautiful!


false label: not good enough
Jesus label: good enough for God
I’ve been bullied since Elem. School and people would talk behind me back. Every time I walked into school it was like the red sea parted and everyone got out of the way but I wasn’t sure if it was because I was boyish or not.
After elem. School I home schooled which caused my anxiety to heighten after not socializing for a year but after 6th grade homeschooling I moved to a Christian private school and my life turned around partially for better.
I made so many amazing friends and I’ve just moved school’s now that I’m in the eighth grade all the drama has partially calmed and it’s gotten much better but I wouldn’t change any of the bad things because I may not have met all the people I know and love now.


false label: worthless/alone
Jesus label: held
About a year an a half ago I struggled with depression and anxiety. I went to a Christian school and thought I had to have everything together, yet struggled to do so. I felt torn down by my family and fell into the lies that no one liked me and never would. I couldn’t tell anyone I felt this way because the enemy told me that it was wrong to feel this way and I should feel happy if I’m a Christian. I gave into the lies and put on a fake smile at school and around others. Faking happiness is like telling one small lie. The lie became to build up more and more and I felt so numb and worthless as I sat alone in my car or in my room. I fell into self harm and began to wonder why I was here. I thought maybe it’d be easier if I could just go to heaven now and end my life. I didn’t want to get better because I didn’t care about myself anymore. As time went on I didn’t think I was recovering, but slowly and surely with prayer I climbed out of the hole of sadness and struggle. I am still tempted by Satan, but now it’s different. I’m heading in a new direction today and I am learning to overcome the shame of my past. I am not worthless. I have found purpose in the Lord. My life is valued in the eyes of God.


false label: The fear of the unknown and I am unable to control it
true label: That The Lord has an incredible plan for my life and He is in control always, so I should not fear.
After losing one of my best friends to a skiing accident, I was really hit with the fact that we don’t live life in a perfect little bubble, and that terrible things in this world are bound to happen. I started fearing losing my loved ones. I was scared that they would be taken away from me just as fast as my friend was. I thought that if I was in control I could prevent that, but I was very wrong.
I never have had control, nor will I. Me worrying about something I can’t control is pointless, and will only make things worse. “Can any of you my worrying add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:27. This became my life verse, and once I truly realized that I didn’t have control, why not give it to someone who loves me, wants the best for me, and can take these burdens off my shoulders. That fear is never going to go away, but the Lord has prevented it from becoming the hindering anxiety it used to be.


false label: captive
Jesus label: free
Last year at this time I was depressed. I had panic attacks, I had suicidal thoughts, I basically didn’t get out of bed or eat for two months. I still have the scars from where I self-harmed. It was definitely one of the worst experiences I have ever gone through. But when I finally CHOSE to take the step of getting out of bed and going to see a counselor and fighting for my identity as a child of God–whose freedom is her inheritance–everything changed. Now I am not only walking in freedom, but DANCING in it–I feel it every day.


false label: anxious & past the point of healing
Jesus label: a daughter of the King who has already been healed and saved by Jesus
I’ve struggled with anxiety for longer than I would care to admit, and throughout 2017, my anxiety was the worst it had ever been. I believed that I was going to live with that metaphorical ball and chain attached to me for the rest of my life. I accepted the lies that had been fed to me. One of the first words I would’ve used to describe myself as a person was “anxious.” Reading Bible verses about anxiety didn’t cure the anxiety attacks. None of the age old tricks to “cure anxiety” made a difference. Nothing helped because I had gotten to a point where I accepted the lie that I was past the point of healing.
The first few days of 2018 changed all of that. I spent some much needed time with some wise women in my life, and one of them told me, “You are not your anxiety.” You. Are. Not. Your. Anxiety. Wow, that hit me hard. It seems like an obvious statement now, but it was a realization of truth that took me way too long to come to. It was one of many things that moved me towards healing and brought me peace.
Another thing that helped in those first few days of 2018 was attending the Passion Conference and hearing Christine Caine speak. (Seriously, I encourage you to look up her talk on YouTube because it was incredible.) The one thing she said that stuck with me and honestly changed my entire way of thinking was, “WHO TOLD YOU?” Whenever you are believing a lie, just stop and think for a second about who told you that lie. Because the answer is NEVER Jesus. Our God doesn’t lie to us.


false label: completely alone and weak
Jesus label: completely protected in the arms of my father
during my sophomore year, i placed relationships, social media, anything i could over God. i felt like this was my only time to enjoy these and it was fine because “God would wait”. at the end of sophomore year, these things started to crumble around me. i thought my life was spinning out of control. a relationship i had placed my whole identity ended and i fell into a dark dark place. i was constantly filled with aniexty and the a constant state of feeling like i was never going to measure up. i had made my outward experience was unhealthy too.
i went to a camp over the summer where i had the opportunity to really encounter God in a completely new way. one day i was crying out to God saying i never signed up for these trials and this state of fear. then i heard a clear voice say “you signed up for this when you decided to follow me.” we agree to anything God has planned for us the day we decide to accept him as our savior….
since this moment i have been on a redemption path with God and i know what it feels like to put your identity in something eternal and let me tell you it’s a great feeling!!!!

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