Dear girl,

If you are a teenage girl who is desiring a relationship, currently in a relationship, or is has experienced a broken relationship, this one’s for you. Here is a little insight on relationships from my experience.

dear girl who wants to be in a relationship,

man haven’t we all been there. you look around and seemingly everyone you know is in a relationship. your brother, best friend, heck maybe even your dog goes on a play dates while you’re home binge watching Netflix. then you begin to get sucked into a trap. you get so concentrated on everyone else’s perfect relationship and you remember how absolutely single you are. you begin to fantasize about guys you barely know. you think if his last name fits with your first or a perfect first date. this territory is deadly. do not overthink it. do not think about a first date or when he is going to finally ask for your number. remember that God’s got this. he knows the boyfriends you will have and he has the perfect plan.

“be so lost in Jesus that a man has to find Him to get to you.” this quote has stuck with me through the years. it reminds me that the man who holds my heart is Jesus and if a man wants to pursue me he must go through Jesus. want a man who is so in love with Jesus that when he sees you he knows how to pursue you. want a man who can lead you in a relationship with Jesus. if he is not lost in the love of Jesus that is unlikely. you will not be truly happy if you are constantly seeking after a boy. remember that God’s plan was for a guy to pursue the girl. think about that the next time you want to text him first, snapchat him, or maybe even ask HIM on a date. do not lower your standards because you simply want a boyfriend. God has a great man for you, why waste your time on others by lowering your standards. you got this. stay strong. surround yourself with girls who are willing to keep you accountable. you are still worthy without a boyfriend.

dear girl who is in a relationship,

CONGRATS! you made it, right? so many girls mindsets as a teenager is “if only I had a boyfriend life would come together perfectly”. this is far from the truth. when you are in a relationship, especially at our age, it can sometimes be more harmful than helpful. while you are in a relationship know who you are away from the boy. do not be so caught up in him that you completely forget about yourself. I was guilty of this. I was in a relationship where I completely lost myself. I changed to make my boyfriend happy and let me tell you from first hand experience, it is exhausting. If you cannot be yourself with your boyfriend, it is not worth it. the person he is attracted to is not you.  do not let a boy tell you that you are worthless. that is the biggest lie on planet earth. you deserve to be treated like royalty. you are the daughter of the king. make sure he opens doors for you and pays for your dinners. keep him in line. just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that his pursuit needs to stop. keep your standards high and don’t let them waiver, even for the cutest guy.

dear girl who was just broken up with,

I am so sorry. I know the pain. I felt it for months after my first breakup. you are wondering what you did wrong, if you could have done more, why you are not good enough. let me stop you right there. you did nothing wrong. there was nothing else you could do. you are good enough. the pain of a breakup is like no other pain I have ever experienced. the pain of rejection is horrendous. remember that it is not truly rejection, but God’s protection. it will be okay. there was a reason God got you out of that relationship. more than likely you will be thankful for God getting you out just in time. when I experienced my first breakup I was a total disaster. (just ask my friends and family.) it took me months to realize I am worth something. it took me months to realize that I am truly lovable and beautiful. that relationship left me with scars that are still healing, but I wouldn’t change it. you see, every failed relationship strengthens you. it teaches you about yourself. it teaches you what you want in future relationships so that when you finally meet your future husband, you know what you want and know how you deserve to be treated. just because a relationship ends, it doesn’t mean that you can’t learn something invaluable from it.